This past Sunday at 10:19 pm EDT, I (and literally millions of others) bore witness to the end of an era: the final episode of Game of Thrones. It seems trite to pay tribute to the end of a TV show, but as the final credits rolled, I found myself emotional, not at the content of the ending (which was far from perfect, as almost literally everyone has pointed), but in the fact of it.
It’s a normal Monday. We go around, recounting our weekends, which for me, includes a detailed analysis of the season two dynamics in Vanderpump Rules, and how on Earth Jax Taylor is still allowed out in public. (He’s a public safety hazard, and he should be quarantined, but this is a subject for another essay.) And then it begins: “Ugh, how can you watch that mindless shit?”
Grey’s Anatomy begins its 15th season tonight. I have been there from the beginning, and after 15 seasons, I will be once again enthusiastically tuning in. I get a lot of “You’re still watching that show!?!” Yes, and other people are too, because the network gave the show two more seasons and Ellen Pompeo a huge package to keep her as its star. The why am I still watching is more complicated.
I started Dallas and let me tell you, those ladies know how to entertain me. They’re Southern. There is old money. There is new money. Their feelings about each other change faster than you can say “Dallas.” It’s great. Look, I’ve learned to love the OC ladies, but I think my heart may be in Dallas. But, let’s see what the OC ladies are up to, especially since Emily may actually kill Kelly.
I’ve gotten behind on the trials and tribulations of the OC women. I apologize – I had to travel to LA to visit Disneyland and hangout with Beyonce and Jay-Z. I lead a rough life. Much like the women of the OC. Last we left them, they were fighting over whether Shannon had insinuated that Emily’s husband is abusive. Gina and Emily had made amends. Shannon and Tamra were fighting for the first time since I started watching this show. Let’s jump back in, shall we?
Turns out that turnabout is fair play when it comes to sisters watching reality TV. I made Allison watch "The Bachelor" and now she is making me watch "Real Housewives." Full disclosure: I saw one episode of "Real Housewives of New Jersey" approximately ten years ago*, and I religiously watched "Bethenny Ever After" so I have some very basic exposure to the Housewives world. Let’s jump in.
Hometowns: When we get to see the shame in the parent’s eyes that this is what their children have come to. I am looking forward to finding out if Garrett the Bigot’s family is racist, and if Blake has any brothers, but mostly I’m excited to see the gang from the Newsies greet Jason home. If Christian Bale’s not there, I’ll be heartbroken.
My favorite part of Monday has become the end of Wheel of Fortune I catch before The Bachelorette. I’m more attracted to Pat Sajak than I’ve ever been to a contestant. Does he have a rose? I feel like I’d do better on Wheel of Fortune than I would on The Bachelor. There’s less of a chance of me punching a man. Not no chance. Just less.
This is coming out a day late because I was at a wedding on Monday watching ACTUAL true love thrive. Look the wedding was good, my friends looked beautiful and I definitely drank too much but was there a pompous male model? No. A man in a chicken suit? Definitely not. Excessive drinking until fights broke out? Okay, I may have had a hand in that last one. Regardless, let’s get back to some manufactured drama.
Are you still watching The Bachelor/Bachelorette? Or maybe you gave up on it when Juan Pablo slut shamed Claire Crawley, a contestant on his season. Or when Nick Viall slut-shamed Andi Dorfman, the then Bachelorette, and the franchise later made him The Bachelor. Or when the producers cast a contestant with a racist and sexist social media history on the season featuring the first black Bachelorette. Or when a sexual misconduct scandal on the set of Bachelor in Paradise called into question the safety precautions taken by producers on set. Or when it came to light that there is a bigot on the current season, which features the first openly liberal Bachelorette. Or how about most recently when it a current contestant was convicted of indecent assault and battery for groping a woman aboard a cruise ship?