20 Thoughts I Had While Watching "The Real Housewives of Orange County" for the First Time - Episode 5

This post is part of a series. Read Carrie's take on Episode 4 here.

They played poker in shiny hats this week. I'm officially down with these ladies. 

1.       Emily has really good hair.

2.     Poker night! I am so ready for some drunken gambling with these chicks.


3.     What is this bird conversation? Birds dropping dead in the street.


4.     Vicki as a Mom is A LOT.

5.     I kind of wish I could see the mother/daughter dynamic between Vicki and her daughter.


6.     Kelly & Shannon are going to dinner and I have no idea what those drinks are that they just ordered. A curial royale and a chopin soda? I got all judgey last week because the ladies didn’t know what an old fashioned was, but obviously cocktail karma is back to bite me in the ass.

7.     Oh Shannon, I want to give you a hug. Your asshole husband did a number.


8.     I love Gina talking about being able to laugh at yourself and her friend’s lippy vagina. I honestly don’t want to be friends with someone unless we can laugh together at our vaginas. 

9.     I can’t tell if Tamra is upset with Shannon because she feel likes Shannon is not there for her, or because she doesn’t feel like she can control Shannon’s life when Shannon has other friends. Tam (we are there now), I completely get feeling unsupported by your friend but don’t judge her drunken night out (glass houses and all that).

10.  “When you put women together with poker, alcohol and food, it should be fun.” Put this on my tombstone.

11.  Scrotox.


12.  The hats have their names bedazzled on them. Emily wasn’t lying when she said she knows how to throw a party. 

13.  Kelly & Vicki fighting in front of Emily’s sister-in-law and mother-in-law makes me so uncomfortable.


14.  Gina is right. Admit you were wrong, apologize to your friend.

15.  “She is loud and opinionated. Then, you add alcohol and she is really loud and opinionated.” Emily just described every woman in my family. We would not do well in Orange County.

16.  Emily’s mom is suddenly attached at Kelly’s hip.


17.  Did she just say three toddlers!?

18.  “Loud groups of women is not my cup of tea. Especially loud, older cackling women.”


19.  Then, Tamra’s husband tells her to stop asking dumb questions. I completely understand being frustrated by a lack of answers when it comes to a medical diagnosis, but jeez the husbands are not coming off great this episode.

20.  In case you can’t tell, Gina is my current favorite so I am not looking forward to the Gina hate in response to her drunken antics.