22 Thoughts I Had While Watching "The Real Housewives of Orange County" for the First Time - Episode 3

This week was the first time I got to experience some of these women drunk, and I was not disappointed. Who knew that three drunk rich women, tequila, spanx, and a hot tub could result in such comedic perfection? Let's jump in (pun intended) shall we? 

1.    I just realized that Vicki left the doggie gate open when she left Kelly’s house at the end of the last episode and now I am irrationally worried about one of Kelly’s little dogs falling down the spiral staircase. 


2.    Why is Vicki calling the ex-husband? This seems like the wrong answer. 

3.    Is Vicki always the one everyone else has issues with?

4.    Tamra provides some super reasonable advice to Vicki on the Kelly argument. Based on some inklings I’ve gotten from you all, I suspect that I am going to be disappointed if I’m #TeamTamra.

5.    I am generally with Kelly on this Vicki situation, but I am not sure that using your 12-year-old as a sounding board regarding her father’s dating life is the best solution 


6.    Emily got a blowout for her workout, which seems to be peak this show. But, I can get behind the budding Emily/Gina friendship. I like them.

7.    Woof with the white women wearing sombreros in Mexico.


8.    These women are 50-year-old Woo Girls. I am not judging. May we all be living our best lives in our 50s. But, you know, with less problematic head wear. 


9.    I appreciate that Gina is like “eh, California is so weird.”

10.  Girls, get yourself a friend that will babysit your drunk ass and feed you tacos. 

11.  Who is Brooks? Like the Brooks that broke Des’ heart on the Bachelorette? Sorry wrong show. 


12.  Shannon girl, if you want to get in that hot tub, then get in the damn hot tub. I am not here for you body shaming yourself.

13.  Ok, but Shannon getting in the hot tub in spanx is grade A drunken hilarity. Again, I am not judging. We’ve all be there or somewhere adjacent to there. 

14.  Steve with the rules! 


15.  I completely understand respecting your partner’s boundaries, but something seems so off about Vicki’s and Steve’s exchange about how she should act on vacation. In other news, I just told my husband that he’s not allowed to impose rules when we go on separate vacations (yes, I see the irony). He responded that if I go on vacation with my girlfriends and I don’t end up drunk in a hot tub, then he will be disappointed. 


16.  Did Tamra really break her foot? She seems unconcerned that her foot might be broken. 

17.  “Matching pajama friends make better friends.” I am stitching that on pajamas and giving it to all my friends for Christmas. 

18.  Yes, Tamra broke her foot. That poor hotel employee who did not sign up to carry a drunk, injured republican down to the beach. 


19.  I have a hangover just listening to them counting how many drinks they had. 

20.  How many matching novelty hats do these women have?

21.  I think they are only in Mexico for the weekend. I want to jet to Mexico for the weekend. 


22.  Vicki and Shannon making out is the sweetest, drunkest way to mend a friendship.