This post is part of a series. Check out Allison's recap of Episode 5.
My favorite part of Monday has become the end of Wheel of Fortune I catch before The Bachelorette. I’m more attracted to Pat Sajak than I’ve ever been to a contestant. Does he have a rose? I feel like I’d do better on Wheel of Fortune than I would on The Bachelor. There’s less of a chance of me punching a man. Not no chance. Just less.
1. I hope Virginia Senator and former VP hopeful Tim Kaine shows up in this episode and completely destroys Garrett the Bigot.
2. I hope Virginia Senator and former VP hopeful Tim Kaine shows up and destroys our on-fire world, then steps aside to let women and minorities build something better.
3. Poor Becca for being tricked by a producer into that LOVE cheer.
4. NTCAP Host is NOT aging as well as Pat Sajak. Is Pat Sajak my perfect man?
5. Ripping out pages of a wedding magazine before you’re engaged IS embarrassing. Yes, Becca. That’s correct.
6. Wills just looked lovingly at Blake – those are two men who deserve happiness… maybe with each other?!??!
7. I’m so proud of Newsie for nailing down that one-on-one.
8. Florida Chris and Lincoln are RUINING Newsie’s moment. Just take each other out and let the real men rise.
9. Men crying about body shaming kills my boner faster than Garrett the Bigot’s face.
10. Becca’s got that Virginia history down. Does she know about the Newsboy’s Strike of 1899?
11. They flew out Jason’s friends? They’re all hot. Any of Jason’s friends… call me. Hell Jason…
12. LOLz at “Becca” being thoughtful and making Newsie’s friends come to Virginia… if that’s what’s going to make you fall in love, you’re falling in love with a producer, bro.
13. Listening to Jason talk about his grandma with Alzheimer’s, I’m feeling that feeling the doctors tell me is empathy.
14. Jason with that loose collar – GUYS! Does she choose a bigot over this hottie?
15. I bet none of these men know anything about American history. Maybe Garrett the Bigot will learn some things about the whole “Bring me your tired, your poor…” aspect of our history.
16. While we're on the subject, I don't know what to do with the irony of capitalizing on "Virgina is for Lovers" (which comes from the Supreme Court case that struck down laws prohibiting biracial marriage), while Garret the Bigot moves to the front of the pack.
17. I’m not here for another election going to a vile, racist bigot. The world is enough of a hot garbage fire of diarrhea as it is.
18. Is Becca's power suit an ode to Hillary? Who wants to talk to her about Garrett the Bigot?
19. Look, at the beginning of this shindig I swore not to spend this much time on Garrett the Bigot. So let's move on to what we are really here for...
20. When will these men learn that fighting with each other is NOT the way to Becca’s heart? Me on the other hand… I love some petty shit.
21. This is NOT appropriate debate decorum, gentlemen. There are children and a Governor in the audience.
22. Fat Fuck? Or Fa***t? Either way, both should pack up and head out. Leave room for Blake, Wills and the Newsie. The only men worth shit.
23. The way Florida Chris laughed when she said men didn’t feel safe with him makes me 100% believe that he’s violent.
24. Given that we now know Lincoln is a convicted sexual assailant, he probably shouldn’t call other men violent though.
25. Garrett the Bigot’s shirt is as bad as Florida Chris.
26. Connor can wear those glasses and Blake can wear that peacoat. That is what is important in this situation.
27. Fascinated to learn more about Leo… and to then watch him go home probably.
28. The men who get left behind on a group date must worship the time they get to spend basically alone.
29. Wills’ week-to-week jacket game deserves a rose.
30. Based on Blake’s Instagram, he sells beer which basically makes him Austen from Southern Charm. They’re both good men surrounded by dweebs.
31. Leo’s entire personality is in his hair. He’s boring otherwise.
32. Leo talking about taking engagement seriously like he’s trying to be this season’s Peter.
33. Leo leaned WAAAAY into her personal space to catch that oyster.
34. Becca that is not your worst. At my worst, I buy $400 worth of jeans and cry over ABBA songs.
35. Leo’s sob story is not up to par. You couldn’t play professional baseball? Newsie’s grandmother didn’t recognize his father?!? Get in the game, man.
36. Random country star, DRINK!
37. LOLZ at Lincoln being a monster because he eats eggs. Solid evidence, bro!
38. “Feeling ready for fight” does not bode well for Florida Chris proving he’s not violent.
39. Becca’s uncomfortable laughter is intense!
40. Florida Chris, Becca is calling you insecure AF.
41. Florida Chris and Becca are using the word “adversity” wrong.
42. What’s the fake eyelash budget on this show? More than I make in a year, we think?
43. Okay, I’m not saying Florida Chris has ever hit a woman, but he’s definitely yelled really closely in a woman’s face and then punched a wall.
44. Florida Chris denying the walk out. Bro, you’re not better than the traditions of this sacred and ancient show.
45. Love when there’s not a cocktail party – Love a swift decision.
46. Blake’s bowtie game on point.
47. Is it just me or is NTCAP Host getting shorter? Is he withering away?
48. Bye Terrible Lincoln and Cute Glasses Guy! I feel everyone left is deserving except GTB and Hair for Personality Leo.
49. Next week are they just straight up on the Paradise set?
50. Is Abe Lincoln claiming his daughter is a Bachelorette fan? Is he breaking character?
51. Now “Abe Lincoln” is comparing Becca’s relationship with Arie to slavery. Guys… what nonsense are we watching?