31 Thoughts I Had While Watching The Bachelorette: Becca - Episode 8

This post is part of a series. Check out Allison's recap of Episode 7

Hometowns: When we get to see the shame in the parent’s eyes that this is what their children have come to. I am looking forward to finding out if Garrett the Bigot’s family is racist, and if Blake has any brothers, but mostly I’m excited to see the gang from the Newsies greet Jason home. If Christian Bale’s not there, I’ll be heartbroken. 

1.      Garrett the Bigot is running like a wounded gazelle that is also a racist.

2.      Becca is not dressed to plant tomatoes.

3.      Lot to unpack with GtB barking orders at Carlos and Carlos doing the actual work while GtB tries to bed Becca.

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4.      Going out on a limb and saying planting that rose bush was not GtB’s idea.

5.      The way GtB speaks makes him sound like a goddammed idiot, and I’m okay saying that since he’s proven he’s a goddammed idiot.

6.      I’m not defending GtB because he’s trash, but you were engaged for like six hours, Becca. It’s not the same as marriage.

7.      I am interested in his ex-wife’s tell all.

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8.      I've accepted marriage proposals for buffalo wings before.

9.      I could destroy a buffalo wing eating contest. She’s really failing.

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10.  Never been this attracted to a hockey player before. Bounce that puck, baby.

11.  Yes, gay brother. Yes, open-mindedness. Yes, no bigotry.

12.  The Newsie has the best house by far.

13.  They’re leaving to have their talk before they’ve even touched their food. 

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14.  His brother has way better hair than he does. Take some notes.

15.  Nice that Jason the Newsie practiced his speech on his brother before he took it to Becca. Way to workshop.

16.  “Becca always says that I’m her mountain man.” Oh, Blake. Feel like she said that maybe once and you really held onto it.

17.  Wow, Blake got dark fast. This makes GtB’s mocking of the Parkland students that much worse. Anyway, everything’s trash, so here’s the link for Everytown for Gun Safety.

18.  Is Blake friends with Betty Who? She from this town? Could he not get Robyn?

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19.  Again, they’re talking and their plates are filled with food. What is this, Real Housewives?

20.  Love when the parents are like, “None of this is real, pal. If you win you’re going to have to have an actual relationship with actual fights.”

21.  Alright, Colton. I see what you’re doing with the Children’s Hospital.

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22.  If you can’t learn a motherly feeling, I’m screwed.

23.  Sorry, Colton. Ya gots ta go. P.S. We now know that Colton's whole "I've never brought a girl home" is pure BS

24.  I’m very uncomfortable watching Colton’s mother and quasi girlfriend talk about his virginity.

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25.  If Jason the Newsie doesn’t win, she’s going to have a hard time explaining to the winner why he was such a better kisser than they are.

26.  The four leftover girls are like, “we don’t know how to talk to each other without the aid of cameras.”

27.  Blake is BRINGING IT in that red bow tie.

28.  Is Colton going to ask NTCAP Host how to do sex? Do I finally understand NTCAP Host’s role here?!

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29.  It all comes down to this: Virgin or Bigot?

30.  And Bigot takes the crown.

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31.  Poor, Colton. He had just figured out how to sex from NTCAP Host.