43 Thoughts I Had While Watching The Bachelor: Arie Episode 4
This post is part of a series. Check out Allison's recap of Episode 3.
Twitter user extraordinaire and Bachelor Nation aficionado, @JillBidenVeep, recently tasked us all with deciding whether we’d rather have Arie or Nick Viall again, and I had to lock myself in a dark, cold room and reflect on where we are as a Bachelor community. If we had Nick again would Sharky come back, and would Rachel have another chance as the Bachelorette to do the right thing? Anyway, everything is the worst.
1. I truly love how hard they’re trying to make Krystal a replacement for Corinne. Truly no one could ever be. Remember when she missed a rose ceremony to nap? God bless.
2. Does NTCAP Host sleep okay at night knowing he’s exploiting people this much? Probably yes on his bed of money with many Bachelor cast offs by his side.
3. I’ve asked this before, but is there some sort of contest I can enter where I get to live in the Bachelor house and go on the vacations but never have to meet any of the trash men they try make us think are worthy of love?
4. Just when you're about to quit this search for love, a taxidermist ropes you back in.
5. Caroline’s kind of funny. She’s probably too good for Arie.
6. Seinne is definitely too good for Arie. I love how confident Krystal is that Seinne is going home. A disappointed Krystal is an entertaining Krystal.
7. I connect with the girls spying on them from afar. I also don’t actually believe they can see them. I see you, Producers.
8. Seinne is very good at asking Arie questions about himself. Arie is very bad at asking Seinne questions about herself.
9. Gotta hand it to people who will stick a camera in a woman’s face while she finds out her grandfather died. The producers of this show are a special level of heartless.
10. Seinne, you’re too smart for him. You do deserve a love story, but with a better man. Someone fly in Peter.
11. What if halfway through this season they fly in Peter and kick Arie out? That’s a way to see who’s here for Arie and who’s not. And also just good TV.
12. This show is really good at highlighting new artists you immediately forget about as soon as the scene is over.
13. Krystal said, “I’m secure” in the most insecure way.
14. Symbolic dates are the worst.
15. Good lesson on Gandhi, thank you Marikh.
16. I missed something. My roommate is telling me they are drinking their own pee. No they are not drinking their own pee.
17. I would drink my pee for no man.
18. I would eat a worm for Jake Gyllenhaal only.
19. Honestly, Krystal good try, but get an adult nanny or bust.
20. I need to take a break. My roommate and I are hotly debating whose pee we’d drink to survive.
21. Holy shit, his giant side abdomen tattoo. LADIES, BAIL! GET OUT OF THERE!
22. Gotta love a girl questioning the maturity of a bunch of people who all agreed to go on this show.
23. He’s looking for someone with a flexible schedule?
24. Taking a weird turn talking about elderly people, Lauren B.
25. I’m rooting for Kendall, but I’m very uncomfortable with her talking about her taxidermy duck as if he’s alive.
26. I want Kendall to get far so she can be the first “weird one” to not just be there for the weirdness.
27. LIVING for Chelsea’s Krystal impression.
28. Drunk Tia eating bacon off a skewer is inspiring.
29. Just like Krystal, I too, come across as flawless.
30. No one is actually saying Bekah’s age. Like if they say 22 they may implode.
31. To their point, Bekah probably doesn’t even know what her drink is yet.
32. Cue him not at all caring about her age, and probably liking her more because she’s young because men are gross.
33. The producers have 100% orchestrated these questions. “Talk to her about her age and if she’s ready in life.”
34. You’re definitely boring, Arie.
35. “You play it off really well” is code for “You don’t seem like a child.”
36. Ugh, he’s right. You should live life at 22, but I hate agreeing with him.
37. Her age is showing way more than it ever has. No one has lived enough life at 22 to do anything except graduate college and try shrooms.
38. I’ve never heard the phrase, “My character was attacked” so much since I started watching this show.
39. It’s cute how NTCAP Host makes it seem like Arie has any say in any decisions.
40. Remember earlier in this episode when Krystal called the other women desperate?
41. Krystal and Caroline are wearing near identical dresses and standing next to each other and that can’t be a coincidence.
42. Yes, Caroline take your shoes off. Get out of there. Go live a life you deserve!
43. GLAM-SHAMING!!!! Staying until the end is worth it.