Today I am thirty. I am not where I thought I’d be at this point. Jennifer Garner promised me a certain lifestyle I have yet to accomplish – I feel neither flirty nor thriving. Thirty feels like a mystical age until it’s here. I am officially a grown up even if no part of me feels like one. Like, I should now be supporting my parents financially. Well, I chose a career as a writer, so sorry Dad. Maybe by 35.
And why, oh why were my dear, smart, independent, strong-willed friends complying? I recognized all too well the fear of saying “no”. Of offending or being rude. Of not being thought of as kind or polite. Of making noise. We are taught, from a young age, to be polite, to smile, and to forgo our own comfort for the sake of others. Even with my ball-busting mother, society won out and my fear of disappointing someone took over.
