All tagged motherhood

Waiting

I do not like to wait.

Tired and impatient, I shuffle from foot to foot, craning my neck to see what the holdup could possibly be.  I’m in line at Target at 9 pm on a Sunday.  This is apparently not Target’s Happy Hour.  I neglected to get a cart, and (as always happens in Target) have about five more items than I planned or needed.  I shift them in my arms, hoping to maintain the pile’s balance.  Thankfully, a cashier appears and opens another register.  The family ahead of me defects to her lane; I follow.

And that’s when I notice them, and finally pay attention to the very specific items in their overflowing cart. 

Matriarchal Lineage, Traced:

When I think of my name, I think of how easily it rolls off my lips and onto my tongue. I purse my mouth and let it sit there as it boils beneath the skin: Mariam. If you say it right, it’s magic. The Arabic of it all feels like home, like I never left Syria, like my grandma is still alive, rolling grape leaves as my other grandma kneads dough. My name smells like their kitchens, tastes like their kisses on my cheek. 

On Kids

I never day dreamed about one day marrying the man I had been with since I was 15, moving to the country, and popping out six kids. Those thoughts literally never entered my head. The main thoughts in my head at the time were “Wait what?! That’s how much I owe the government for 4 years of private school education?” and “Where am I going to move so I don’t have to live in my hometown?”

I Will Keep You Safe

In the training we received during our adoption process, and in current “big” conversations about adoption, open adoption is touted as being most emotionally healthy for the child – and I fully agree.  In theory.  Open adoption puts the child first… except when it doesn’t.