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To Be Less Critical

To Be Less Critical

One of the big goals I have for 2018 is...drumroll please… to be less critical & controlling. Of course I’ll share a post with my pillars and the goals within those various categories, however, I really need some help on...me.

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I have super high expectations; sometimes debilitatingly high; unachievably high. Just ask my husband ;) I have certain ways of doing things and expect the world to do them the same way, or even better. And when inevitably this doesn't’ happen, I am critical and feel let down.

I also have a bit of an edge when I want something done - I am direct, matter-of-fact, and certainly don’t mince words/waste time with bullshit. Not because I am mean but because I honestly don’t have time to f* around. Maybe I am this way only towards Jon, maybe others just haven’t told me (or they have tried and I am just too perfect to listen).

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Maybe I am being a bit hard on myself; either way, this is a quality I really do not want to be associated with, in public, at work or at home. And always striving to be a better person in this universe, I vow to work on this. How you might ask? I haven’t the slightest clue. I’m making these up, without any professional advice, but think this might help.

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  1. Be mindful - in order to figure out what I am trying to control (everything?!), keep a log for a few days. Really pay attention to what I’m feeling when I’m feeling it to understand the why.

  2. Ease up a bit - I will try not to control every molecule in my universe. Let’s start by rapping during dinnertime to make Liv and Gray laugh. Why not?

  3. Be kind - when giving feedback, really think for a minute, is it feedback that I’m giving or am I trying to control the way something is does. If it’s truly feedback, start soft.

  4. Start Soft - do not use attacking language “you” but rather “I feel” statements, since I control my feelings, not what the other person says or does.

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Dr. Oz has a good article for my fellow control freaks “over-functioners” HERE

I hope to check in mid-year with how I’m doing - wish me luck!

Xoxo

Niki

Living with a Threenager

Living with a Threenager

Let Your Freak Flag Fly - New York December 2017

Let Your Freak Flag Fly - New York December 2017